I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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