I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Do vagina's smell?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
