I want to make a zoo with you.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
