did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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