I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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