Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
