Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
