i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
