Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
so much tequila, so little girl.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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