wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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