remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize