I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
