Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
