Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
