just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
