There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
