Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
