oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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