i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
