He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
