Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
