You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
