I am spending my child support on dildos
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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