I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
