my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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