I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I forgot how hot balto sounded
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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