no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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