He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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