tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize
