Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
