Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
