Don't you send me to vm
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Randomize
