I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
