the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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