Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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