I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize