I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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