Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
