apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
