I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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