so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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