he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
cat food counts as protein by the way
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
