Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
