In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
