You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
