we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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