he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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