Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
