The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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