He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
