so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
