if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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