But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
