This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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